Today is Monday. My rent is due in 3 days and as of right now I don’t have it. My parents are leaving in 2 days and I have weddings and photos shoots on Saturday and Sunday every weekend this month, and I need to find a willing baby sitter that I’ll more than likely have to pay with money I don’t have right now.

I guess could go on about the several things that were wrong and hard right now, but that would just dig an even deeper hole into negativity and cause me to start swimming in my own pool of tears. God told me to give Him all of my worries and cares but…never mind…not giving into this pity party. Just have to pray that God provide whats necessary for this to be a smooth month.

I have to choose positivity.

It really is hard to choose positivity when negativity is so easy to wallow in. It’s seems soothing to cry and to feel sorry for yourself. It’s easier to just go with the flow of your emotions. Letting everything affect you. Letting everything determine how you feel. There’s no work in that. There’s no pushing, no fighting, no going against the odds….

All you have to do is sit there…

Sit there and let all of the negative emotions wash over you like waves. You don’t have to move….you just have to stay there and let it come. Let it consume you. Let it take you all the way into it’s depths and drown you. Isn’t it so easy to just die where you are with no struggle?

I’m choosing NOT to do that today.

I’m choosing to walk in joy and talk with God.  Do what I can for my situation and let God handle the rest. I have some control over certain things, and other things I don’t have control over…I just have to give it up to Him.

So deep breath…..

There will be a day where things won’t be a struggle. Situations may not change. They may be the exact same way as they were before, but your mind will change. When you start to memorize those scriptures and get them buried deep within, and listen to the sweet whispers of the Holy Spirit’s comfort, you’ll find yourself inflating your life jacket. You’ll find yourself start to rise up out of that ocean of negative emotions and begin to stay afloat in the midst of your situations.

Life never really gets easier, you just get stronger.

Not because life is just this awful thing to live, but because it’s unpredictable. Because things just happen that you can’t stop or you can’t change. We don’t get to choose our families or how we are raised, so we all react to things differently. Then there are some people that we do choose to be in our lives, not knowing how destructive and damaging they’re going to be. These things cause us to make choices differently and for our lives to just happen differently.

One thing always remains the same though.

One person.

One infinite being.

Same yesterday, today, and forever more.

Thousands of years ago, my Heavenly Father sent down His one and only Son to die for us that we may be able to live in Him. He did it because His love for us is immeasurable! He did it because He cares for us so much and He wanted to reconcile us so that we could be in relationship with Him. He sent His Spirit to live within us so He could guide us, He could love us,  and always be with us. In every celebration and in all the unpredicatable struggles. The good, the bad, the ups, the downs, the beautiful and the ugly.

NOTHING in life can tear Him away from us.

I could be living the best week of my life, and then something SUPER bad could happen randomly, and He would still be there. Oh the joy in knowing that! The peace of mind. That no matter what, He’ll never lose His grip on me. I’m resting in that. Resting in His grip. Resting in the thought that He knows every part of me. He knows what makes me tick, makes me frustrated. He knows that I’m not very good with handling my money, I can be very emotional, expressive, inquisitive. He knows that I have a hard time with letting go of the wheel because I need to be in control of where I’m going and how I get there. And yet, He still takes care of me. He still teaches me, and reassures me that, ” I know everything about you, and it is all working together for My purpose for your life.” On my WORST days, when it FEELS like I have lost complete faith in God, He pursues me even more. Making Himself known in everything just to get my attention, and to tell me He loves me.

Today, I choose joy.

Not because my life is great, but because God, Abba, my Provider, my Prince of Peace, my Strength, my Joy, my Everything, is GREAT! And He loves me. And You. And He cares, and wants the best for us. Always.

So today I pray for all of us that may be worrying about life right now. 

Father, I thank You so much for loving us. Show us what walls we have put up that keep us from trusting You completely and help us to tear them down. More than anything, I know deep down inside that we don’t want to worry, but God that may be the only thing that we know how to do. Show us something different. Continue to teach us to rely on you and to depend on you and not on our own understanding. Help us to see the lesson in every circumstance, and trust that you are preparing us for greater! We love You and choose to let YOUR joy be our strength today! In Jesus name, Amen!

Love you guys!!!

xoxoxox