Gut Check: I Gota Do What???

So I was reading one of Heather Lindsey’s blogs on balancing life and she was talking about how she was neglecting her wifely duties by making her business first priority or above him I should say, and putting him at the bottom. As I was reading through the blog about how she worked on changing that, at first I was thinking, “This woman is extreme! I love her and really admire her, but a woman has stuff to do too. I mean I’m tired and I would like a meal myself. A man is more than capable of helping out or doing for himself at times.”
 
Right when my thought ended, the Holy Spirit corrected me real quick. My selfishness was totally exposed!
 
I’m thinking, “What God? It’s true! What about me and my needs? You’re saying even though I’m dog tired, I still have to cook something for my husband? Or do something for him when I clearly don’t feel like it? “
 
 “Love is about putting someone else before you AND however you may feel.”
 
SAY WWHHAATT??? lol
 
Maybe I’m not as ready as I thought.
 
I mean this doesn’t make me a bad woman or anything because I felt that way, but it just really showed me that my heart still needs some work before I even consider marriage.
 
Marriage is work. I’m starting to see that it’s not always butterflies and beautiful red roses. Just like you’re walk with Christ, it’s a beautiful relationship that you love and cherish, but it requires that you die to yourself daily as well. I thank God that His thoughts and ways are much higher than mine because based off that one thought alone…if I were to get married today, I would probably be divorced tomorrow. So sad, but true.
 
 
Another thing that she said that really hit home for me was that she married her husband and not her business, so his needs should be a first priority in her life. He is her first ministry. Even though I’m not married, I’m still challenged with getting my priorities straight. In my case, my son is my first ministry and sometimes I put him at the bottom of my list as well. It’s not something that I do on purpose; it’s just that being a single mom, I feel like I need to do so much in order to provide for my son. I’m a business woman, with many business ventures in mind like my photography and other smaller businesses, on top of working an 8-5. I can’t forget about what my heart loves to do as well which is helping other women and single moms. Not only that, but also getting healthy, pursuing this natural hair journey (hey now, that’s work! Lol)
 
All of these things are so time consuming, and when I don’t pay attention, I end up spending most of my time involved in bettering them than my baby boy. That was another gut check! Everything else should come second to God and my son. Geez Heather! Thanks for the conviction!
 
With all of that being said, I just really thank God for my time of singleness! Not only is He giving me time to prepare my heart to meet the needs of the one He has for me, but He has also blessed me with practice! Lol There are a lot of singles that have to go into the marriage life blindly, but I get to experience firsthand how to really love someone by putting their needs before mine and really taking care of my first ministry. Am I doing that now? It is definitely a work in progress! God has been slowly cleaning me up and molding me into the woman and mother that He has called me to be. So I’m just patiently resting at His feet and relying on His beautiful grace to help me through.
 
 I pray the same for any other woman that may be trying to balance their lives as well. Start asking God to expose your heart so He can purify it for you! Then once you ask, just rest at His throne of grace through the process! 🙂
 
Have A Blessed One!

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